You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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