i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Life is so much better after having sex.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize