Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
