Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
