ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
