So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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