like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
smell my finger.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
