I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
