JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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