Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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