How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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