He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
