You can't motorboat a personality
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
