the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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