Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
