i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
