my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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