PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We are all done wearing pants today
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
