i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
