I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Duck Duck Cougar?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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