after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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