And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize