Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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