his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
