I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I party with great urgency now.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
