Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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