I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
false alarm. still invincible.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
