Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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