Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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