you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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