i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
