her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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