He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize