I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
