I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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