So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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