What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
