i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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