OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
