i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize