it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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