We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
