I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize