Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
