I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize