you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize