I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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