Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
