Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize