WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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