I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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