What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
