What did we do last night that was yellow?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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