Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
