What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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