when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
someone owes me an orgasm
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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