wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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