You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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