physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
