is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I have post one night stand depression
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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