I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
