ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
